i get excitement at your feet [entries|friends|calendar] lauren alyssa [ website | My Website ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[13 Aug 2004|10:20pm] i have a new journal!! add me to your friends!!   littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows littlepinkbows 4 rainbows| post comment

[10 Aug 2004|10:18pm] teen vacation bible study is truly a blessing. i mean just as a start, the people that run it don't have to be there, they're there out of the kindness of their heart and it's so wonderful how much time they give up for us. the braun's make us dinner every tuesday night, pastor heather and sue plan out all the scripture lessons, and we even have a band that rehearses for us all week so that for one night, we can have live worship music. i can't thank God enough for this wonderful oppurtunity and for calling me to it. today was different though, i really felt something. there's this girl Meg who goes and she used to go to church at Nichols and she grew up in Trumbull, but then she went to college and she graduated so now i guess she's home again. well i didn't know her at all except for 3 weeks ago when i met her at the first meeting of vacation bible study. i immediatly thought she was an amazing person because she had this bubbly personality and she was so religious that i was so blown away. whenever the band plays she always gets up and dances and claps and blocks out everything so she can concentrate on the music. she has a personality like pastor sara...a lot like pastor sara. well when the band was playing today she came over to me and asked me if i wanted to dance. at first i said no but after a few minutes i got into it and she i got up, stood next to her, and was clappin away with Meg. haha then we sat next to each other in bible study which was very interesting. instead of pastor heather reading the scripture and giving the "message" Deb Packnick did it....well she's another very spiritual, bubbly person haha. and she gave a really really good message. it gave me a lot to think about so i wasn't really saying much. Meg kept on asking me yah know, how did you feel about that? or what do you think about this? i was very involved in my thoughts though so i didn't say much. when it was almost time to end Meg wanted to close in a prayer so everyone got up in a circle and we all held hands. after her prayer Meg comes over to me and is like can i pray with you? so i gave her this confused look but i said sure anyways. so she took me over in the corner and we were holding hands and she closed her eyes and prayed for me. she said something like "Lord, i don't know whats going on in Lauren's life but be with her...thank you for calling her here today and giving her strength to come by herself...." i don't even remember it but all i know is that it made me cry. i was trying so hard not to though. when she finished she gave me her cell phone and her e-mail and told me i could call her anytime. :) it was such an amazing expierence tonight. i feel like the Lord calls me to wonderful people like Meg and Pastor Sara because i always seem to meet people like them who have this strong love inside of them that they give off to other people. i still have to think about it a lot though, but i'm definetly seeing a pattern. i'm gonna spend a lot of time with myself, my bible and my Lord this week. and hey, why not Meg!? haha 2 rainbows| post comment

[09 Aug 2004|10:35pm] ben punched cheri in the eye today at camp. he was pretending to 'shoot her in the head' but by accident his hand slipped and hit her eye really hard. it was red for a little while afterewards. i felt so bad. :( jackie was in boston today....probably getting drunk but she was suppossed to be at a red sox game. a lot of the kids came up to me and in their high pitched annoying voices they go "where's jackie?!? where's jackie?!?!" so i'm like yeah, jackie's with friends, in boston. ha emma christman came over today...waaa! we had like so muchhh funnnn! we made ourselves dinner, real dinner, like pasta, sauce and salad....and it actually tasted like real food. we were so excited! haha well before that we walked to daniel's farm to play on the playground. so we get there and there are a bunch of little kids, so we just made ourselves at home. haaaha we rented Thirteen off of Cinemax on Demand...and we got sooo stoned. haha nahh but throughout the entire movie these two thirteen year old girls were getting high, drinking, and having threesomes, sex with boys, and making out together. haha it was the GREATEST movie everrrr! after the movie ended we were like sooo tired it felt like we were stoned. it was hilarious!! we laughed at anything haha. i'm made of rainbows and fruit roll-ups! heeeeeeeee 1 rainbow| post comment

[08 Aug 2004|11:32pm] martha and i are going to hell (for mutiple reasons)...we skipped church because we were bored and hungry and then we stole mega jumbo freeze pops from the freezer that we for the little children. they were so cold and we were so hungry that we just took them. then we mashed them up in some bowls and ate it like soup cause we're just so unbelievebly cool like that. sue, pastor heather, ali trombetta, ryan, me, wes and greg went tubing today. it was not exactly the best day to go tubing. the water was like 65 degrees and after about a half hour on the river our asses and feet got numb. it was really bad. plus we like kept on crashing into these rocks and one scraped against my ass really hard! pastor heather flipped out of her tube at one point and then some of us got stuck in the rocks. the sun was barely out too, which made it even more colder. quite fun though, i most say. dinner at bennigan's tonight with jessi and courtney! woot woot! we had a great time...we didn't really order that much food but for some reason we got really full. and when the bill came we didn't have enough money for a good tip that we just left like an 8% tip...haha. we put the money on the table and ran out as fast as we could so that out waitress wouldn't see us. then once we got out there we all had to pee like there was no tomorrow and the mall was closed so we had no where to pee. so to distract ourselves we found abandoned strollers in the parking lot and rode around in them. good times y'all! last week of camp starts tomorrow, :( i'm very sadened by it. i love my kids and i love being at the camp cause i always have a lot of fun. not to mention jackie and i are closer than we were before. i love that girl! she's great. awww and my little shainaaaa! shaina's such a sweethart and no matter how old she gets, she always wants me to buy her a lollipop, that scoundral....! aha post comment

[06 Aug 2004|10:26pm] it's friday night and where am i?? home. uhh and the reason is, my psychiatrist just gave me a new prescription so i haven't been taking my old medication. and the problem with that is my body gets so used to taking the old drug every single day, when you don't take it you get major withdrawal. which is what i'm having. i have major headaches, if i run face i start getting really light headed, and i almost hallucinate. it's horrible and i hate it! uhh and that is why i am home. shannon imed me today! i was so excited lol. i miss her so much, and all the other guard girls too. when i was watching the DVD from finals in San Diego, it made me cry cause i miss them all so much. that's the one thing i hate about my decision to quit guard, i haven't seen any of the girls since the school year. and i miss them. i really do. we were all friends and soo close and it hurts that i'm not with them anymore. if you couldn't tell by my pictures in my previous entry, it was crazy hair day at camp. i had no idea what to do to my hair this morning cause it was still wet from my shower, that i just made three little ponytails on the top of my head and stuck a bunch of butterfly clips in...crazy, i know! haha but even though, i felt so stupid walking into Starbuck's that morning by myself haha, i felt like a 6 year old. and it was so funny when i got to camp, peter and jackie were the only ones there so jackie was like, oh good, can you come to the deli with me? i feel stupid by myself. haha well the two of us together would indeed be less embarassing. ahah 2 rainbows| post comment

[06 Aug 2004|02:10pm] kids, i dont know what's wrong with these kids today. kids, who can understand anything they say. kids, they are so ridiculous and so immature, i don't see why anybody wants them. while we're on the subject...kids, they are just impossible to control. .kids, with their belly shirts and their rock and roll. why can't they be like we are? perfect in every way. what's the matter with kids today? -Gpysy   <( crazy hair day at camp )  4 rainbows| post comment

[05 Aug 2004|10:08pm] kira ellen gorelick came over today...arrrr. we watched the exorcist and almost peed in our pants! uhh it was sooo scary. after we watched it, it was raining and freaky stuff just spontaneously happened. we were nerotic. then we made tacos! woot woot. haha and then we hung out with deeds and took porn pictures of Barbie. good times kir! "kill yourself..." camp is a very interesting place to be. it can be tons of fun or it can make you want to shoot yourself. and today both of those things happened...i'm not going to write about it though. today was just very interesting. and i don't think one of the girls, sam, likes me very much. we were 'campers' together last year and good friends but now i'm a CIT and she's a 'camper' and i think she thinks its werid. she doesn't talk to me. i get a vibe from her like "ew". eh who knows. jackie and i are getting along together. we have good talks. the two of us can really joke around now or have a serious talk about something and i don't know why. last year we were both kinda young and we didn't really know each other. but this year we know each other real well and we can talk about other things than theater. i dunno. it's great. she's a lot of fun.   ( color your world ) post comment

I AM NOT WORTHY TO EVEN KNOW KIRA GORELICK * and that is a facttttt :) [05 Aug 2004|03:19pm] why hello lauren alyssa, this is kira - i'm at your house right now. how long have we known eachother? since you couldn't tie your shoes - i could and you couldn't . . i remember ahaha. we've been through so much its unbeleivable. besides from being the BIGGEST dorks in daniels farm together. we practically lived with eachother haha - remember when we had a funeral for the dead chipmunk that purly killed? ohh boy..we dressed up in dresses and sang church songs lol wowwwww. i think i know your woods by heart. we probably caught like maleria and gangrene or whatever wandering the woods all the time haha - GIRLSCOUTS omg hershey park where i puked up everything i ate that night that was soo nasty. oh my goodness lauren theres way to much to say. i think we went through everything together, and although we grew up a lot on our own..when ever you put us together is like we're *10* again. i love you so much and i am so unbeleivably proud of your current dreams and acheivements. no more fucking up lauren or ill personally beat the crap out of you..god will too haha. ..* don't stop short of your dreams. ill be sitting in the front pew in your future church ahah and you BETTER tell of the crazy stories you had with the DORKY INFAMOUS KIRA. ahh i love you i love you. forever friends <3 kirrrrraaaa 1 rainbow| post comment

[05 Aug 2004|01:38pm] i love working with kids. they're so much fun, and if you really take the time they'll teach you something. kids look at you as a role model and someone to be like. they couldn't tell that you got drunk at that party last night or your friend got arrested. they love you for who you are. they're amazing. i want my own. the kids at my camp are great. i love em to death! and the kids i babysit are so adorable. they bring out the best in me all the time. ( the terrible twos ) post comment

[04 Aug 2004|10:23pm] we all have them. memories.</p> memories of mine. memories of yours. memories are just. they are just in our minds, reminding us of those good times when you smiled and the bad times when you skinned your knee. yet we treasure them and hold on to them for as long as we live     ( memories of mine ) post comment

[04 Aug 2004|02:07pm] [ mood | cold ] ben had a coniption at camp today...jackie dealt with him though. he went crazy while they were staging peter pan because he only had one line it the song. i mean what does he expect he's going to get when there's 7 lost boys and he's one of them? hmm...his mother told us when she brought him the first day, that ben has PDD, pervasive devolpmental disorder. i guess it's characterized underneath Autism but i'm not sure. ben's a great kid, he's polite and he gets along fine with the other boys, but sometimes he speaks out loud and he has trouble communicating. there's not much we can do though, we just gotta help him. at bible study yesterday, sue and i were talking about this sunday...our youth group is going tubing or whatever it's called. there's not a lot of us going, just the "regulars" i'd say. i should be fun though, even though we can't wear two piece bathing suits lol. errin and i were like, uhh we haven't had a one piece since like 3rd grade. haha i had so many different ones like hawaiian prints, plaid ones, sport ones made by speedo...i mean i had like every design you could think of. haha i was pretty lame. so sue said we could just wear a bikkini underneath shorts and a t-shirt cause that's the cool thing to do ...haha 2 rainbows| post comment

[04 Aug 2004|12:24am] [ mood | i have a tummy ache ] today was a very productive day for me. i was barely home at all! which is very surprising. at camp the kids made masks and put on scenes. they also were auditioning and i am very happy to announce that this group of kids are very talented! i mean there are some that are a little slow, but most of them are really good singers and actors...we'll talk about the dancing at a later date. i had an appointment with the wonderful, smart, and amazing psychiatrist of mine, dr. karpenos. uhhh she's crazy and very intimidating. sometimes when i talk to her i feel that she can see right through me because she's so smart. and then there are the other times when i just sit there and stare at the ground. after our little rendevous, my mom and i went to get starbucks and we went on a little shopping trip. i went to GAP and got some cute under-garmets haha and my mom went to some kitchen store. she bought a spatula. teen bible study tonight...YAY! we had yummy hot dogs and macaroni and cheese tonight instead of nasty "spaghetti and sauce" like last week. haha me and errin had issues with that sauce. but yeah, after bible study some of us went back to wes's house because today was his birthday and we made a campfire and talked around it. it was really nice. wes and i had a really deep discussion. we had no idea we had so much in common. i mean like he'd say something and i would feel the same way so i would agree, and vice versa. it was really nice. i hope wes had a good birthday! post comment

[30 Jul 2004|11:00pm] [ mood | exhausted ] heyy do me a favor? fill this out and leave it as a note...if you loveee me! xox 01. Who are you, what's our relationship?: 02. How and where did we meet?: 03. What's my middle name?: 04. How long have you known me?: 05. Tell me one good thing about myself?: 06. When you first saw me, what was your impression?: 07. My favourite band at the moment: 08. My eye colour: 09. Do I have any siblings?: 10. Have you ever had a crush on me?: 11. What's one of my favorite things to do?: 12. Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?: 13. Describe me in three words: 14. Name five things I love: 15. Do you think I'm good looking?: 16. How would you describe me to someone?: 17. Would you ever date me?: 18. Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did: 19: What do you like most about me?: 20: If we could spend a day together, what would we do?: 21: Have we ever gotten in a fight?: 22: Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?: 23. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it: 24. What do you think my weakness is?: 25. Do you think I'll get married?: 26. What makes me happy?: 27. What makes me sad?: 28. What reminds you of me?: 29. If you could give me anything, what would it be?: 30. When's the last time you saw me?: 31. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?: 32. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?: 33. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?: 34. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?: 35. What song (if any) reminds you of me?: 36. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?: 37. Would you make a move on me?: 38. Do I cross your mind at least once a day?: 4 rainbows| post comment

[30 Jul 2004|03:26pm] [ mood | bored ] sadly, today was the last day of theater camp. all the little girls were tackling me after camp and telling me they were going to miss me and such and such. they're soo cute! they did their dress rehearsal of the show and there were a few mistakes but besides those, they've come so far and they're absolutely adorable!! i'll miss them. pastor heather and i went out to lunch today. she came to pick me up from camp and slowly but surely i was able to get into the car, because the little girls were literally dragging on me. well pastor heather and i went to bennigan's at the mall (which is my 2nd time eating lunch there this week lol). we both got salads and we split this awesome chocolate dessert. uhhh it was amazing!! haha i had a mishap with the washing machine this afternoon lol. i didn't know what you did first so i decided to fill it with water. i went upstairs to get my clothes and stuff and when i came back down there was water overflowing out of the washing machine! it was all over the floor aha. so i manage to get through and turn off the water but i didn't know how to drain the water. so i take two big bowls and scoop out the water. it was baddd. im tellin yah. post comment

[26 Jul 2004|08:03pm] [ mood | fulfilled ] today we went to see pastor sara. it was such an exciting day! mr. wagner and jess prince drove and everyone else was me, martha, dave, greg, steve, ryan, wes, and heidi. as we were driving down her street we were about to get a parking spot when i scream "oh my god, it's pastor sara!" and she was walking down the sidewalk to the entrance of her appartment building with her dog. so we all like jumped out of the car and everyone gave her hugs. it was so great to see her again! and when we were all hanging out, it was almost like she had never left because we talked like we used to and we acted like we used to. it was great. we had sooo much fun! we went to ESPN Zone for lunch, we visited her church and St. Patrick's Cathedral, and we went to Starbuck's. we only had a few hours so there wasn't much we could do. we took the subway and had interesting interactions with taxi drivers...haha. pastor sara is such a great person and to have had her in my life was a true blessing. she is caring and loving and so incredibly friendly. God bless her! jess prince and i might take a road trip down to see her next month. we would stay the whole day there (not 4 hours lol) and we'd probably go shopping, out to eat and just spend time with her. "girl stuff" as pastor sara would put it. i love her to death and i'm so grateful that the Lord has given me the oppurtunity to visit her today! thank you! 1 rainbow| post comment

[25 Jul 2004|10:30pm] [ mood | determined ] jessi, don't bring yourself down! you are such a wonderful person! really! ask anyone!! and please, don't dwell on your faults. we all have baggage to carry, thats what makes us human! none of us are perfect. i know it's hard to think that because there are probably people in your life that you think are perfect but they're really not. and jess, if you're ever feeling really low, pop in a video you have from a guard or band show or read something you wrote that was really good. it'll remind you of how great a person you are and all the awesome things you can do! but if none of these things don't work, try to call someone like maybe emily, or me, or tori! we're all willing to help you! and if you're feeling really really upset and maybe having suicidal thoughts, call this hotline, 1-800-SUICIDE...it's completely anonymous, free, and open 24 hours a day. i'm not trying to label you and say that you're suicidal, because i don't think you are, but if you're ever really feeling down, give them a call or emily. you ARE NOT alone. there are sooo many people around you that are willing to listen when you need to talk and then can help you. trust me, i should know. you may be going through a tough time but "this too shall pass". i promise. you have sooo much life ahead of you so while you can, be a teenager. be spontaneous and have a fucking good time! go out and get drunk with a couple of friends and spray paint the school! this is something i've realized after all i've had to go through, you can't waste these years of your life sitting around moping and crying...you need to get out there and have fun! people always tell me that these are the best years of our lives, so take advantage! i can't stand to read your diary cause it makes me so sad. i don't want you to be upset. i really don't! i care too much about you to see you so upset. so if these feelings continue i'm gonna give you an idea: you might want to seek out a therapist that you can see once a week and talk to. i know one that is AMAZING! she's soooo wonderful and i love her to death! if she wasn't good, i wouldn't recommend you to her. her name is robin and she's at the trumbull counseling center. you can get information on the website. just have your mom call and you guys can make an appointment and talk. honestly jess, she's a great person to talk to and i think you two would really click. so think about all this, let it sink in, and let me know what you think. i love you jess and i want you to be truly and honestly happy! ...see what psycho-therapy can do to a person!? lol 1 rainbow| post comment

[25 Jul 2004|10:02pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] nothing can bring me down right now because i just talked to pastor sara!!!! it was sooo funny the way it happened though! you see steve and i were talking about our plans for visiting her tomorrow and he was like get her number because shes not responding to the e-mails we sent. well i called 411 for her number and i wrote it down and gave it to steve. but being the man that he is (as pastor sara put it) he was too chicken to call her so he made me call her. lol i call and a woman picks up so here i am saying "is this sara? pastor sara??" and she's like yeahh, uhhh huhh yeah. so i told her it was me and she was like "oh oh!! lauren!!! its sooo good to hear your voice!" so we talked and talked for at least 15 minutes, then we got disconnected lol. i called her back and we talked for another 10 minutes and we made all the plans for tomorrow. i can't wait! :) talking to pastor sara and hearing her voice made me remember so much. i remember all the fun we used to have and how much i missed her. she was sooo awesome to be around and whenever you were with her you could never wear a frown. someway, somehow she made you smile, maybe even laugh. i know she always made me laugh. she was a lot of fun too. you could always be extremely silly and stupid around her and she wouldn't watch and laugh at you, she'd join you. she was the best. i miss her. i can't wait to see her and give her the biggest hug. i loveee you pastor sara!!! muah! post comment

[23 Jul 2004|06:25pm] [ mood | hungry ] uhhh i am soooo hungry right now! i barely had lunch and now i have to wait another hour or so for our pizza to come. i'm at my dad's friend's house and he has a son who's my age, so right now i'm on his computer cause he's with my brother downstairs i think. well after having the bitchiest attitude around dr. karpenos, i felt really bad. i mean she's only trying to help me and i really do like her so i felt that maybe i should just give up robin and stay with karpenos. it's kinda hard though because i really like robin and i'm gonna miss her! :( plans changed for going to see pastor sara. apparently she has a very sick grandmother and she visits her grandmother every weekend so saturday doesn't work for her. BUT she really wants to see us so she told us her day off was monday. so we're going to see her on monday. only bad thing about that is that i work and i don't know if i'll be able to come. i work from 9-1 and we'd probably leave in the morning. i dunno... i hope i can work it out. 2 rainbows| post comment

[21 Jul 2004|11:45pm] [ mood | energetic ] i believe that the guests on the jerry springer show maybe have 6 to 10 teeth and probably have no birth certificate.wouldn't you agree? i mean seriously, look at these people! they're crazy...absolutely insane!! but whatever, i watch it anyway cause it's fcking hilarious! haha   my thoughts on swing dance: mmm highly cherographed physical abuse, that's what it truly is. the media's polite way of putting it is "swing dance". yahh uhh mmmhhmmm. it may be fun but i'm sure if you looked under their shirts... you'd find HUGEE bruises! i'm tellin yah. note: children do not attempt at home. ...oh yes, and here is GAP advertising 'stretch khakis' while people swing dance. i guess it shows they really are "stretch" because if people can engage in highly cherographed physical abuse in them, they must be somethin special! post comment

[21 Jul 2004|04:45pm] [ mood | bored ] today after theater camp i had to go see dr. karpenos. she told me that i can't have two therapists so i should basically stop seeing robin. i got really mad because i really like talking to robin and i didn't want to stop seeing her. but karpenos said it was a good choice. she also told me that i have to be willing to do this and if i'm not willing to do it yet than we can't meet for awhile. i'll think about it but i'm not sure what's going to happen. what's the best part of summer? cold cups of water sitting in the shade underneath a tree while teaching little kids how to dance in the hot sun. yes yes, as much as it sounds torturous, it's extremely amusing. the heat inside the building where i work everyday is worse than the heat of the outdoors, no lie! so we go outside and try to find some shade to work on our dances for the upcoming show. woo woo why is it that children's songs always seem to get stuck in my head? you wanna know why? it's because there are subliminal messages in them! i'm swear to you! i mean why else would kids (and adults) become so addicted to these songs?? especially vacation bible school songs. i mean you listen to the CD once and for the rest of the day, and while you're laying in bed, repeating through your mind is "with Jesus in my life, i can soar like an eagle, soar like an eagle, be as gentle as a bear..." i speak from expierence, it has happened to me! i'm telling yah, subliminal messaging...! post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]